Commentary

 

Memorable Occurrences in Swedenborg's Writings

This list of Memorable Occurrences in Swedenborg's Writings was originally compiled by W. C. Henderson in 1960 but has since been updated.

From Swedenborg's Works

 

Conjugial Love #330

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330. The second account:

I once heard a friendly discussion among some men regarding the feminine sex, as to whether any woman can love her husband if she is constantly in love with her own beauty, that is, if she loves herself on account of her appearance. The men agreed among themselves, first that women have a twofold beauty, one a natural beauty having to do with their face and figure, and the other a spiritual beauty having to do with their love and demeanor. They agreed also that these two kinds of beauty are very often separated in the natural world, but that they are always united in the spiritual world; for outward beauty in the spiritual world is an expression of a person's love and demeanor. It frequently happens after death therefore that homely women become beautiful, and beautiful women homely.

[2] As the men were discussing this, some wives came to them saying, "Permit us to join you; for what you are discussing you know from observation, but we know it from experience. Besides, as regards the love possessed by wives you know so little as to know scarcely anything. Are you aware that it is a matter of prudence inherent in the wisdom of wives to hide their love for their husbands and conceal it in the recesses of their bosom or at the center of their heart?"

The discussion recommenced, and the first conclusion drawn by the men was that every woman wishes to seem beautiful in appearance and beautiful in demeanor, because she is from birth the form of an affection of love and this affection is expressed in beauty. Therefore a woman who does not wish to be beautiful is not a woman who wishes to love and be loved, and so is not truly a woman.

To this the wives said, "A woman's beauty lies in her gentle tenderness and in her consequent keen sensitivity of feeling. That is what occasions a woman's love for a man and a man's love for a woman. This is perhaps something you do not understand."

[3] The men's second conclusion was that before marriage a woman wishes to be beautiful for men in general, but after marriage, if she is chaste, for her husband only and not for other men.

To this the wives said, "After a husband has tasted the natural beauty of his wife he no longer sees it, but sees instead her spiritual beauty and returns her love because of that. If he calls to mind her natural beauty, he does so with a different view of it."

[4] The third conclusion reached by the men in their discussion was that if a woman after marriage wishes to seem beautiful in the same way as before, she loves men in general and not her husband. "For a woman who loves herself on account of her beauty," they explained, "continually wishes to have her beauty tasted; and because it is no longer seen by her husband — as you women have said — she wishes to have it tasted by men who do see it. It is patent that such a woman has a love for the opposite sex in general and not a love for just one."

At this the wives were silent, though they murmured to themselves, "What woman is so without vanity that she does not wish to seem beautiful to men in general also at the same time as to her one and only?"

Listening to this were some wives from heaven, who were themselves beautiful, being forms of heavenly affection, and they confirmed the three conclusions reached by the men. But they added, "Let women love their beauty and its ornamentation, provided it is for the sake of their husbands and inspired by them."

  
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Many thanks to the General Church of the New Jerusalem, and to Rev. N.B. Rogers, translator, for the permission to use this translation.

From Swedenborg's Works

 

Conjugial Love #270

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270. The third account:

Awakening one morning, I fell to thinking about some questions having to do with conjugial love, coming finally to this one:

In what region of the human mind is truly conjugial love seated, and in what region, therefore, coldness in marriage?

I knew that the human mind is divided into three regions, one above the other, and that natural love resides in the lowest region, spiritual love in the next higher one, and celestial love in the highest. I knew also that in each region there is a marriage of good and truth, and because good has to do with love, and truth with wisdom, that in each region there is a marriage of love and wisdom; moreover, that this marriage is the same as a marriage of the will and understanding, since the will is the recipient vessel of love, and the understanding the recipient vessel of wisdom.

[2] While I was deep in thought on this question, I suddenly saw two swans flying towards the north, and presently two birds of paradise flying towards the south, and then two turtledoves flying in the east. Following their flight with my eyes, I next saw the two swans veer their course from the north to the east, likewise the two birds of paradise from the south, until they met up with the pair of turtledoves in the east. Then together they flew towards a certain lofty palace there, rising in the midst of olive trees, palms and beeches. The palace had three rows of windows, one above another; and as I watched, I saw the birds fly into the palace — the swans through windows standing open in the lowest row, the birds of paradise through windows open in the middle row, and the turtledoves through windows open in the highest row.

[3] After I witnessed this event, an angel stood beside me and said, "Do you understand the things you have seen?"

"A little," I replied.

"The palace," said the angel, "represents the abodes of conjugial love as these exist in human minds. Its highest level — into which the turtledoves disappeared — represents the highest region of the mind, where conjugial love resides in the goodness of love together with its wisdom. The middle level — into which the birds of paradise disappeared — represents the intermediate region, where conjugial love resides in a love of truth together with its intelligence. And the lowest level — into which the swans disappeared — represents the lowest region of the mind, where conjugial love resides in a love of what is just and right together with its knowledge.

[4] "These degrees are also symbolized by the three pairs of birds — the two turtledoves symbolizing conjugial love in the highest region, the two birds of paradise conjugial love in the intermediate region, and the two swans conjugial love in the lowest region. The three kinds of trees surrounding the palace — the olive trees, palms and beeches — symbolize the same.

"In heaven we call the highest region of the mind celestial, the intermediate one spiritual, and the lowest one natural. And we conceive of them as being like apartments in a house, one above another, with steps going up from one to the next, like stairs. Moreover, on each level there are as it were two sets of rooms, one for love, one for wisdom, with a bedroom, so to speak, in front, where they come together in bed — love with its wisdom, or good with its truth, or to say the same thing, the will with its intellect. In such a palace, all the mysteries of conjugial love become visible as though in effigy."

[5] Hearing this, being fired with a desire to see one, I asked whether a person might go in and look at the palace there, since it was a representational one.

The angel replied that only angels in the third heaven could, because for them every representation of love and wisdom becomes real.

"What I have related to you I have heard from them," he said, "including as well the following, that truly conjugial love resides in the highest region, in the midst of mutual love in the chamber or apartment of the will, and at the same time in the midst of perceptions of wisdom in the chamber or apartment of the intellect; and these come together in bed in a bedroom that is located in front on the east side."

"Why," I asked, "are there two chambers?"

"Because," he said, "a husband lives in the chamber of the intellect, and a wife lives in the chamber of the will."

[6] At that I inquired, "If that is where conjugial love resides, where then does coldness in marriage reside?"

"It, too, resides in the highest region," he replied, "but only in the chamber of the intellect, with the chamber of the will on that level being closed off. For as often as it pleases, the understanding with its truths can ascend by a spiral stairway to its chamber in the highest region; but if the will with the goodness of its love does not ascend at the same time to its companion chamber, the latter remains closed, and coldness develops in the other, which is the coldness one finds in marriage.

"As long as such coldness to one's wife continues, the intellect looks down from the highest region to the lowest; and if fear does not hold it back, it also descends in order to warm itself there with an illicit fire."

Having said this, the angel wished to tell me still more about conjugial love from the depictions of it in that palace; but he said, "Enough for now. First investigate whether these concepts are beyond people's general comprehension. If they are, what is the use of saying more? On the other hand, if they are not, more will be disclosed another time." 1

Footnotes:

1. We find, however, no report of any further disclosures.

  
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Many thanks to the General Church of the New Jerusalem, and to Rev. N.B. Rogers, translator, for the permission to use this translation.